So I got alot goin on in my head and in my heart and all over...sheesh
I've been tryin to get all my thoughts together and it just wasnt happening.
So this one is gonna be all over the place. Random thoughts and feelings etc.
I know its not the best way to be but I cant help it. When it comes to life in general, my approach is if it doesnt really affect me it doesnt really matter to me. Like the reality shows and the news etc...Now I try to keep up with whats happening in the world. I am emotionally jarred when it comes to war and disasters etc. I pray for the injured and deceased, but all in all, my only true worries are whether my family is ok. When it comes to the reality shows on tv, I am so unimpressed and unmoved. I dont even really watch. Nothing about those shows are anything like MY reality so I cant relate.
I am really troubled about how things work in the world. Simple things and complicated things.
It amazes me that your cell phone company will suspend and cut off service, PEPCO will disconnect service, Car Loan folks will come and get your car if you dont pay. But a person can not pay child support and owe THOUSANDS of dollars and what do they get? a license suspension (who hasnt driven anyway when they either lost it or Lord Help Em its suspended or whatever)? But I do have sympathy for some folks who are on the other side of that situation. I met a dude yesterday that pays $1K a month. FOR A 3 YEAR OLD. That is INSANE...What is that child doing with $1K a month? I barely get 1/2 of that for a 12 year old that eats like a grown man and wears the clothes and shoes of grown woman. I felt really bad for that dude. And he does extra for his child. My childs donor cant even return her phone call. Sad...
My reality is this...I am a single mom trying to make it. And it is HARD being me. If you knew my entire story you would wonder how the hell it is that I have not been admitted to the loony bin. Me and my kids dont have much. We all want for a lot. I love them but they drive me crazy. I like to go out and have fun with my friends. But I stress on a daily basis about EVERYTHING! Where Im going to get the money to pay this bill, those kids, their safety, my sanity, my parents, my friends. When I tell you my heart is HEAVY, trust and believe. You see me and my game face is tight yeah, but there is alot of turmoil goin on with this one.
Even still with all thats going on with me...I always have my arms open for my friends and my family. And lately it seems that my friends have my back more often than my family. I am thankful for it all even though I would love to trade some of that family for a pack of gum, a pair of Nike boots and some chicken wangs, Fries and a Half and Half.
This blog thing is a sort of therapy for me. I appreciate that you all take time out to read it and to respond to it.
HEY THIS MF DONT HAVE NO SPELLCHECK! and if you know me at all, I am quite anal about grammar etc. So forgive me if there are any errors...I aint got no red pen!!!!
Lata yall! LUV YA!
